Bible Gateway

Monday, October 24, 2011

Unexpected Blessings

Hello everyone! Praying everyone had a great weekend!

I am getting straight to it today. Y'all the Lord has blessed me tremendously today and I HAVE to share!! Man where to start.  I want to apologize first if this post is too long, but God is just AWESOME! 

Ok, so I am chilling, sitting at the computer, just fed Kalena.  She's nice and content playing........ Ahhhhh, my time to relax for a bit.  Just then Mark calls, I'm like "Hey, what's up?"  I could tell in his voice he was getting ready to ask me something that he really didn't want to ask.  (I love my husband, and his concern for people.  He has a heart that reaches out to anyone.  He will pick up a homeless man and treat him like royalty! God bless him).  He begins to tell me that the new girl that works there just got a call that her son is sick, Uh huh... and she didn't drive her car today, uh huh.....pause...... all I could think and what does that have to do with you ?(shame on me) you are not driving her anywhere.  I didn't say that but you he's like I thought about letting her use my car (nope) but that's not a good then I know where this is going.  He asks if I would mind bringing her to check on her son. UHHHHHHHHHHH, OK.  All I can think is, dang it, I already told you I didn't want to drive out there today, he works in Port Arthur. (selfish a little)

Of course I say yes!  Very reluctantly.  What type of person would I be if I said no, right?  So I get dressed, she calls.  Not sounding very enthusiastic about the idea herself,  she asks about how long it might take me to get there.  I start rushing around, I am still in my PJ's, hadn't taken a bath, Kalena pooed, hair not combed!  So during that call she says "yeah Mark said you wouldn't mind driving me to Baytown to check on my son" UHHHHHH Baytown, I don't remember that coming up!!  I didn't tell her this, I just play it off, "sure no problem" we finalize everything, and hang up.  Since she didn't sound very grateful, (she was, but had some other issues going on that I found out about) I start taking my time.  God quickly reprimands! How would I feel if I were miles away and had a sick child I couldn't get to immediately???  On the one day I decide not to drive at that, because I am a single mom trying to save gas, so I ride the company bus to work! "Forgive me Lord".  We find out really quickly what ugliness is in us when God places a demand on us to do something for Him that we don't "want" to do.  I also learn, be careful how you treat people, you never know what they are going through. When someone is stressed they don't need your attitude making it worse!!

I start talking to God, He's on the main line so I start telling Him all about it!! LOL  Then something happens.  My blog the other day about Surrender comes to mind......... Pause again, how many times do we beg, plead, cry for God to use us, but when the opportunity comes and it's not how "we" want to be used we cringe.  I tell you, If you haven't totally surrendered to God, when He asks you to do something that takes you out of your comfort zone, whatever is still ugly in you will come.  And it did, strong! I am ashamed to say, but hey I like to keep it real. I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, I am content to sit here in from of my computer talking about all the great things the Lord has done, instead of getting out there and helping Him do some of those great things.  Shame!

So I get on the road, praying the whole way saying, Lord I am doing this for you, I don't know what your plan is, but whatever it is I surrender.  He knows I am not feeling this at all. The more I talk to Him, the more at peace I feel. This just reminds me not to be led by my feelings, just act and the feelings will catch up! I am listening to Natalie Grant's Cd, and the song Beauty Mark comes on! WOW speaks directly to me!!  ( I will post the lyrics at the end) He reminds me, "didn't you just write that you want to please Me more than breathe"??? Yes Lord, "well here is an opportunity" OK Lord.  I surrender!  My heart, my emotions, my feelings.  I am not really an affectionate person.  Many people that know me may say "awww Nikki's so sweet" awww Nikki this, Nikki that" but what they don't know is Nikki is not an affectionate person "by nature".  Ask my mom how I hug, LOL.  I am not comfortable (there is that word again) showing my feelings.  Sure, I can be emotional, I cry at sad commercials, I feel "sorry" for people. 

That's dangerous right there! God showed me that! He doesn't need children that "feel sorry"  He needs children that can get into gear and be about His business. The world feels sorry, has apathy.  We are to be children of action!! How many times do we "feel sorry" for people in bad situations? We think "Oh my gosh, how horrible, someone should really do something" or if we are really "saved" we might send some money to help out, send clothes, food. Yeah that appeases our minds and flesh to say "well at least you did something right"??? Those things are all good, don't get me wrong.  We are not all called to be missionaries in third world countries, and sometimes it's not possible to help everyone but we can all do something for someone.  We are called to do that. We are called to be the hands and feet of Jesus Himself. What do you do when that helping demands you to give more than just money, more than just clothes, more than feeling sorry, but actually calls you to give of yourself,  your time, your resources??? Now we don't like that.  It's our time right??  We work hard, we need and deserve "our time". 

What we fail to realize is,  It's really not our time, it's God's time that He is allowing us to use!  That was a new revelation to me!! How are we using the time, and resources that God has entrusted to us?  We all want to cry out like Isaiah, "Send me Lord, I'll go" what happens when God calls you to go???  Do you go with a smile, willingly, cheerfully, praising and worshiping God , or do you want to pick the places you go, pick the people you help and go on your terms, when it's convenient for you?  Do you go with an attitude, complaining the whole time?  Thinking of everything it might cost you??  You might as well not go then, because God gets no glory out of that.  I was so ashamed, but so relieved that my Father loves me so much that He answers my prayers for change.  Change me Lord, let me not be complacent, and comfortable.  Didn't think He would move so soon, LOL!!  All I could think is I am representing You Lord, and my husband. I should be honored that my husband sees something in me to even think to ask.  I could be one of those wives, that he could think "well I am sure not asking my wife, she would never do that".  I don't want to be that way, I don't want to be that wife. I want to represent him and our family well.  I want to be a wife he can be proud of.  Just like a child is known by their good deeds (Proverbs 20:11) so are adults!!

So back to the story.  I pick her up, she gets in the backseat with Kalena, okkk.....what she don't want to sit up front with me?? (flesh is a mess, sometimes even after you pray)   I have to remind myself, she doesn't know me, she's probably a little uncomfortable too, and plus she has a very sick son over an hour way that needs her.  It's not about me at this moment at all! God use me.  I am Your driver.  Whatever your plan I submit, if I am to pray.....I will pray..... listen........I will listen.......just drive......I will just drive.  I want to please you Lord! 

I must say God showed out!  We talked the entire way!  She shared her whole story with me. She reminded me without saying it, to keep things in perspective.  She is a single mother working a job to take care of her two kids.  She is doing the best she can with what she has. She left Port Arthur to give her kids a better environment.  She gladly makes that drive everyday, sometimes on weekends too, to do better for her kids, and to give them the best. She should be dead at the hand of her ex husband but God said NO!!  She is a living, breathing testimony and I am honored to be her driver today.  God you are Awesome.  Thank you for choosing me.  She thanked me, we hugged, she even blessed me with gas money( was not even on my mind).  This young woman living for God, her kids, and herself.  Not trying to be cute, not trying to get attention, but working and working hard with a bunch of men that don't know her struggles.  She's beautiful, but that doesn't matter, she has a job to do, and kids to take care of. 

I was so blessed.  Sometimes our blessings don't come the way we expect, and sometimes our blessings are ones we haven't prayed for, but when God blesses boy does he bless!  I am so glad I surrendered and submitted.  It's hard to explain, but I know God is preparing me for greater things, but I must not get complacent, I must not get comfortable.  God is always moving, always doing, so when He moves we must be ready to move, ready to act. There's not always time to pray, we should always be ready, and make the most of every opportunity, Colossians 4:5-6.  Don't wait for everything to perfect, or for you have more money.  You have everything you need to do something for God, and whatever you lack He will provide....along the way and as you go!  Remember when Jesus healed the 10 lepers?  They obeyed God came in faith for their healing, and they were healed AS THEY WENT!! (Luke 17:12-14) You don't receive your blessings sometimes until you GO!

Today I had the opportunity to chauffeur one of God's daughters, and just listen, she thanked me for that. All she needed and wanted was someone to listen, but she gave me so much more!

Lyrics to Beauty Mark, by Natalie Grant

What do you see when you look at me? Ten dollar words and philosophies 
How would you choose to define me? Cares for others or just cares what others think?
But there is more to me than just what meets the eye 
It's time to be the change inside
I wanna' look like love, I wanna' look like, live like faith, I wanna' live this life in me showing my face, I wanna' look like hope, I wanna' look like, live like grace  
And I know just where to start I'll let you be my beauty mark
Looking the part just to play the game 
Cutting cut up face back looks the same  
They're just pass stars making a name  
So shut your part it is a crying shame   

But I'll put the finger on nobody else but me (Nobody else but me)  
It's time to be the dreams we need .
I wanna' look like love I wanna' look like, live like faith I wanna' live this life in me showing my face   I wanna' look like hope I wanna' look like, live like grace And I know just where to start I'll let you be my beauty mark

Not stopping Love and joy, Peace and kindness Gentleness and self control Nothing, nothing is more beautiful
I wanna' look like love I wanna' look like, live like faith I wanna' live this life in me showing my face I wanna' look like hope I wanna' look like, live like grace And I know just where to start I'll let you feel my beauty mark

I'm gonna' let you be my beauty mark
I wanna' look like hope (look like hope) I wanna' look like, live like grace And I know just where to start I'll let you be my beauty mark

I'll let you be my beauty mark


Liz said...

What an awesome story!!!! Thanks for sharing it!

Anonymous said...

Excellent Nikki!!! I laughed and cried but was deeply moved! I look forward to reading your blog everyday because I know it will speak to me in such an awesome way. Keep doing the Father's business! I can't wait to see what He's going to do through you next! I am truly blessed just by the connection we have with each other. I love you Nikki and I am so very proud of you!! You go girl!!!
- Yolanda

Nikki said...

Thank you both! It was truly a blessing for me! :-) She inspired me.