Forgiving vs. Trust

Good morning everyone! Praying all is well out there!  :-)

A friend of mine posted a statement on FB that really didn't hit me until now.  She said "As Christians we must forgive but I don't have to trust you or forget about what you did".

Of course someone came right behind her telling her how that was wrong, and what's the point in forgiving if you won't forget. There is a big difference.  The lady even went to the point of using the scripture Psalm 103:12.  That scripture is God speaking, not a man!

We will all have the opportunity to exercise our forgiveness muscle in this life.  Even something as small as a minor offense, to something as large as murder requires forgiveness.  That doesn't mean it's easy by any means either way.

We all experience hurt because we are all imperfect.  Whether the offense was intentional or not we must forgive, but must we forget??  I think it's important that we cleanse our minds daily with the blood of Jesus in order to not let our past hurts affect us later in life.  Of course something's are so hurtful it's hard to forget them.  The quote "Time heals all wounds" proves true.  Some hurts just take time to heal and that's ok.  Jesus came to heal our wounds.....physical and emotional.  He knows some scars go deep and will take time.

What does it mean when I forgive someone?? Is it wrong that I don't trust them?? I say no.  Say someone is taken advantage of when they were young. They may never forget what has happened to them but will choose to forgive the person.  As hard as it may be, they have to. More for themselves than the other person.  That means when you see them, instead of feeling angry and bitter you feel love, almost sympathy for them. You choose to see them through the eyes of God and His grace.  That is something that comes from God and not from ourselves, and it is a choice!!

 

OK, so you have forgiven them, not holding the past infraction against them.  But are you required to trust them? No! And that's ok. You would most likely never leave your own children with this person, and you may not want to be alone with this person.  Is that wrong? No.  Trust has to be earned.  People may argue, well you haven't really forgiven them.  Not true, you are not required anywhere in scripture to trust anyone.....ever really.  The word of God says to trust no man, why?  Because people make mistakes, and have the ability to hurt you.  God cannot!   We must put our complete and total trust in God and Him alone.

Of course you learn to trust people again.  Don't let past hurts keeping you from loving and trusting those you know are trustworthy.  Don't punish everyone for the mistakes of one person!

Do your best with the Holy Spirit's help to walk in love, towards everyone. Your love walk will help your forgiveness walk. The Word says love keeps no records of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5). That means you choose to not keep a mental journal of every wrong thing done to you.  You can't function in life doing that.  You have to move on at some point. Again it's a choice!

And remember we all need forgiveness.  From God, from people and from ourselves.  

Yes precious little you is capable of hurting people too!!  We all have, and we all do.  Remember though when you do, seek forgiveness from the person you hurt, but know you don't have the right to set the terms this time.  Leave it in God's hand, and pray you find favor in their eyesight. Once you have done that, don't let them torture you with it. Stay away if you have to, until they let you know it's ok.  This may take time!  Be patient with them as they work through it.  It may seem small to you but may be very hurtful to them.  And forgive yourself (sometimes this is the hardest)

I notice that works the other way around.  I have a few people that have hurt me pretty bad in the past.  I have forgiven them, but God has also been so gracious in not forcing me to deal with these people very often.  I rarely see them, but when I do I am not angry.  I don't see them and immediately try to remember what they did.  Of course it's still there, and you better believe satan would love for me to dwell on it, but who does that hurt more??  Me of course. 

Just remember God loves you, Jesus died for your healing and everything will be ok!  There is no wound too deep that the blood of Jesus cannot heal and cover. You are not alone in this.  The Father knows what happened and He will work on your behalf to make it right.  Just make sure you do your part!  Forgive and leave the rest to Him!  :-)

Matthew 6:14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you (attitude: forgive because you love the Lord)

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (attitude: can love cover it?)

Ephesians 4:31-32 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.(attitude: loving and forgiving just like God forgave you)
 

Psalm 118:8 It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.